Pregnancy can be a tough time; I am extremely lucky to say, that on the contrary, it was a very enjoyable and a memorable time for me, so much so, that it is impossible for me to describe it.
We were in Belgium when I became pregnant. Far away from family and friends, there was nobody to help us out, yet we pulled it off pretty fine.
SS was just fantastic. He supported me on every step and turn and in everything I wished.Without his valuable support and cooperation I don't think I could have had such a nice time; but even greater than his help and support was the complete faith which he had in me; he trusted me completely and fully, allowing me to do whatever I wanted, never questioning me or even doubting me that I might be wrong.
In the first trimester, when pregnancy hormones made me too weak, sleepy, lethargic, breadthless and unable to stand smells of any kind, he promptly took charge of the kitchen despite knowing nothing about cooking. He handled office and kitchen simultaneously making up hilarious parodies on the spot to fit any situation we were in. I fell in love with him deeper than ever before.
He took such good care of me; preparing fresh fruit juice for me straight after returning from office, washing the utensils and cleaning up the kitchen till it would be almost midnight, stocking up on food, milk and grocery every 3-4 day though normally he hates this kind of shopping, serving me milk and breakfast by my bedside, tenderly helping me every time I sat down, stood up, or settled down in bed and even put on my socks and shoes when I became too big to bend down.
Buying bunches of romantically beautiful roses and tulips every weekend, going to Amsterdam Central to eat falafal which we loved, taking a walk round the block or in the glitzy shopping mall or beside the picturesque canal in the chilly afternoons and evenings, enjoying beer and dinner in seductive candle light, listening to surinami FM radio while going to sleep .... are just some of the sweetest memories of those times when we two were so close together fully engrossed with the thoughts of the little baby we were going to have.
I spent my entire time in reading, studying, internet surfing and often strolling in the mall below till it was time for SS to come home from office. I collected a wide data on my present state and learnt all the medically recommended genuine do's and don'ts of pregnancy. It was
so wonderful to find out what was happening with me inside and out and the reason why it was happening; even more wonderful was to discover the nature's amazing sequence step by step in which the baby was forming inside.
Throughout the nine months, I continued wearing pretty Ts, jeans, tracks and sports shoes flaunting my bump as few women can dream of doing if in India because here it is considered extremely vulgar and shameless. After the first trimester was over, I had become my usual
healthy and energetic self and could accomplish all the house chores without much difficulty.
Finally HN arrived into this world blinking in surprise at so many lights, sounds and people around him so utterly different from the dark,quiet and solitary world he had come from. Now he is nine months old and we have never ceased to wonder at nature's miracles which directs and guides such a tiny creature making him master skills like rolling, standing crawling or speaking instinctively. It is truly nature's supreme miracle and should be enjoyed and marveled at instead of passing it by silently without getting to know it just as a spider passes by a chest of treasure.
I know it is easier for me to say so because I had SS who is the best husband in the world and because I happened to be at a place where generally, people consider it as the luckiest, happiest, nicest and most beautiful thing in the world; they regard it as an honor to bring a new life into this world and both father and mother equally participate in this process right from attending Ultra sound sessions and pregnancy classes together to witnessing the birth of the baby and feeding, diapering or bathing him.
Pregnancy is so differently handled here in India...!
Leaving aside the majority which lives in rural areas and is illiterate, the urban population which is both educated and well-to-do is barely better than rustics in this regard.
The father considers his main job is to impregnate his woman; he then assigns her to the care of relatives and forgets all about it carrying on with his work as usual; often the woman is sent to her parent's place to spend the entire term.Those who do keep near their wives at this time,
bear all the discomforts and changes in her with a bored indifference. Pregnancy and everything that this word entails, holds nothing unusual for them; after all, women have been getting pregnant ever since they were created so what's the big deal in it? They are only interested in the finished product.
The woman on the other hand is reduced to spend the most beautiful time of her life in complete ignorance. She is subjected to wearing drab oversized clothes to hide her bump, listening to and practicing centuries old anecdotes of older ladies in her family and friends' circle, confined to stay indoors as much as possible and the highlight of her state is only in indulging in mega eating and resting, that is, if she is lucky enough to have a good family otherwise often the story goes that she has to toil hard even in this state because nobody not even her husband has the least sympathy with her.
There is such a colossus ignorance in people here regarding such a wonderful and vital thing which is pathetic. The more so because despite a lot of advancement, education, medical facilities and available littreture on the topic, people not only lack authentic knowledge on this
subject but display a total absence of curiosity to know and a desire to learn and so prefer to be happily guided by age old ridiculous old wives tales and techniques. The gynecologists behave like a mothers-in-law and mothers-in-laws like gynecs.
(Well, leave about pregnancy, most do not know even simple human anatomy. A lady in my relations, unfortunately,died after suddenly experiencing pain in her chest region; she was 8 or 9 months pregnant. Till date, the family believes she died because the baby inside had climbed up towards her heart which caused it to stop. Similarly, many people ( here in India), believe that a pregnant lady should eat a lot of butter specially in the 9th month as it will make the baby slide out of the birth canal smoothly.)
Pregnancy is a wonderful state. Its each and every week is full of marvelous wonders. Its a miracle how just a cluster of cells multiply and become a miniature human being. Its a unique experience to feel a living creature moving, kicking, hiccuping and somersaulting inside your body. Despite the numerous discomforts of the state, there is an undeniable joy and thrill in it which can never or rarely if ever be compared to anything else; what's more, these joys and thrills and wonders are not just for the mother alone- they are also for the father to be. Its such a shame that so many people here treat pregnancy as an ordinary trivial affair and pass it by without enjoying or admiring it. Like animals, they just enter this state and come out of it.
Ignorance is something always to be pitied but nowhere more so than here...!
